On My Mind

So I figure its about time I write yet another episode in the bowels of Here I go. Yes I know that didn't make sense what so ever.. but I have been dieing to use "bowels" and "episode" in the same sentence for a long time here.

Once again, food holds the major share of my mind sooo, I'm going to try and use the word "food" in this paragraph at least 50 times... think it can be done? we shall see. So, like I said.. I'm thinking about food... and not just any food.. I'm talking "foOd" food.. the kinda food that sticks to your food basket... Food is such an amazing thing.. as a matter of fact, food will be my new "Sweeetttt"! That food is so food dude... I like it. I wish I had some food right now, because food sure does sound totally fooood... If I could eat any food I wanted to right now, I wouldn't really care what kind of food I ate as long as it was food. Now remember, I'm not talking what most people would refer to as food.. I'm talkin REAL food. Tofu is not food. Tofu is for people who want to deprive themselves of food. Food should not be something we deprive ourselves of, therefor tofu should never be eaten. We need food. Happiness is food. Here's some food for thought... if food was as thick as air, and air was as tasty as food, we would all be born in food. How would you like to be born in food? That brings up a question about food... "if you are born in food, then don't you get the food all icky!? and does that still make it food?" Good question, Food is unlike anything else. What is food for someone or something, isn't always food for someone or something else. Food is always food. If it started out as food, it will always end as food.. tofu never started out as food. So, to answer the question, Yes, it is still food.. just not food fit for people. I'm sure there is some kind of bug that would think it is food.. and I'm sure that once that bug got nice and beefy it would be food to someone tying to prove manlyhood or someone that is hungry for odd but not stupid food sources. Tofu is not even fit for animals. Fat Opossums On Diets don't want to eat too much food. Some people eat F.O.O.D if they are from Louisiana... Doesn't listening to some classical music remind you of food? Speaking of music.. "Food Glorious Food" from Oliver is a really good song. over and food.. I mean out... over and out...

Yes, I know I have issues....
I wonder what It would be like to be an old grandma stuck in a lab in Antarctica... who was confined to liver and tofu... and V8 juice... that might kinda stink. And what stinks even more.. is that I'll never know what its like! There is an impossibility in there. A pretty obvious one. Yes thats right... you got it. It would be completely impossible for me to be confined to tofu... It just wouldn't happen.
I wonder why alligators don't team up and take over New York City...

In Response

(from "Teen 2 Teens" Wednesday November 14 2007.)

I have the answer to number 9. I can explain everything.. see, its a conspiracy. Some ancient relatives of Bill Clinton came up with the idea and forced Benjamen Franklin to make it happen. It had to do with oil companies and NASA taking over the world. Every Year, Everyone who has been a president of the united States of America all go to a daylight savings ritual and get "daylight rocks" tattooed on their backs. The reason no one has said anything about this before.. is because they are paid off..

Leftovers

So I got to drive a convertible the other day.. that was pretty cool. I went topless... ok, so I didn't go topless.... the convertible was topless... it was like 40F out anyways... but it was warm enough to put the top down on the car.... yeah. I got a new hair style from the ride.. I don't think I'll keep it though.. mother wouldn't like it. I wouldn't like it either. I once knew this guy who died his hair... true story....

Back Feed

On Thursday October 25 2007, I mentioned what happens when I mess with words that rhyme.. well, heres what happens when I mess with words that rhym.. and then don't finish it.

Many billion years ago, In what we now call France,
There was a creature rare and dumb, that happened there by chance.
Its mother was a dinosaur, its father was a spud,
Most monkeys called it "dino tot" Its mother called him bud.

Before someone got hungry, Bud saw dad all the time,
they used to go evolve for fun, down in the public slime.
Mother crocked and not because she was a giant frog
she tried to eat that tree too fast, it caused a major clog.

Since the events of mom and dad, Bud was sent away,
Nebraska man was his uncle, so there he went to stay.
The thing he learned from uncle pig face, was how to play some ball
He played all day, and never lost, he never seemed to fall.

Word of Bud and football spread, across the infant earth,
Till it fell on Toms new ears, He had heard it during birth.
Thomas was a wild one, he played ball in his sleep,
He challenged Bud to a game, Bud drove there in his Jeep.

Bud didn't want to loose this match, he won the game instead,
Tommy was hysterical he wanted Buddy dead.
Buddy was afraid right now, he wished he would have lost,
For Toms future relatives would kill Bambie and Jack Frost.

A monkey man came by one day, to confront his friend Bud
He told him to go and face his fears, to make Tom chew his cud.
With that, Bud knew he had a job, He'd make Tom fly his white flag,
He built for himself a booby trap, with cookies and a paper bag.

As Tom was waddling along one day, he saw the cookies there,
He knew those things would taste so fine, he ate them with no care.
Just then the trap spring fast, He was trapped inside that paper bag,
and all of a sudden he ripped it and flew away and died... but his ghost still haunts Bud.

The end.

Wisdom of Words

It is wrong to kill a dead hippopotamus's baby that is dead.