Thursday, December 25, 2008

Finally.. right?

Its On My Mind.

Saturday, March 29, 2008.. That was the last time I wrote in my blog. Just about 39 weeks.. its been 271 Days.. thats 0.7419575633128 years.. or just over 6504 hours.. AKA 390,240 minuets! We're talking over 23,414,400 SECONDS!!! I won't go into the Milliseconds, Microseconds, Nanoseconds... all of that because I'm sure all of you already know that because you have just been counting the Microseconds in hopes of another blog. I'm sorry. I have let you down long enough!

Its Christmas today. er.. well it was when I started typing... wow, 

its getting late. BUT LIFE GOES ON RIGHT!?!?.. moving on. 

In Response

SOYJOY... never heard of them. It has been advertised to the right side of this blog now for a while... thanks to google adds.. (of which I don't think I am actually going to get paid for because I totally forgot my password..) so thank you google adds. 

... YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME GOOGLE!! If your little Google code things that look for key words in my blog would actually LOOK AT THE CONTEXT... they would see that I do NOT like soy OR TOFU!!!! So I'm going to give google some more key words that might help in their ads. 

Soy = Bad

Tofu STINKS!!!

All soy and tofu are disgusting.

Yuck.. soy is gross

Anything that has to do with soy is wrong

When people eat soy, they are causing global warming

All soy is bad for you

You can tell the doctor that your sick from TOFU!!!

Four hundred years ago, people did not eat "Soy dogs".

Real meat is better than tofu

Only lactose intolerant people should eat soy

Most tofu will kill you if you eat too much

Some say that soy is the number one killer of gold fish...

Of course they are wrong.. but soy is still a killer

You didn't catch my subtle message about soy just now did you?

Left Overs

For "Left Overs" today, I'm going to show you a glimpse of what goes on in my head when traveling. Back a few months ago when, (you guessed it) we were traveling, I decided to open my gorgeous macbook and start typing anything and everything that popped into my head so I could look back later on and see just how fruity I am. You have the pleasure and honor of seeing a letter to myself. Buckle up. 

"Ok, um..  I'm in the car right now... and for science... I'm going to let my brains gush forth freely...  actually.. I'm going to change that to my "mind" because frankly "brains" gushing forth isn't to appitizing... and how can you not think about food at a time like this?! Right? Ed? huh? yeaha. Oh, right. I have done so much typing today already.. almost 3 hours strait now. Snap. My battery is almost gone... I need to plug it it. There. Thats better. Sweet relief. We went to a restaurant yesterday that was disgusting. Its times like that, that I wish I was one of those big bad secrete agent FDA people. I had 2 different hairs in my eggs, Josh had a hair in his ice cream... they didn't give me a choice on what I wanted to drink, they just gave me moldy water. ok, exaggeration.. the water wasn't moldy. The food was outrageously priced givin the circumstances. Although, I did manage to work around the loophole. not to brag, but I ordered two side dishes... (two eggs, toast, sausage, chicken and dumpling soup and mashed potatoes) and it was like three bucks. My meal was bigger than anyone else in my family and they paid 8 bucks for theirs!  I'm thinking maybe the cook caught on to my brilliant scheme and put the hairs in my food. Gotta be it. but I already knew that.. so why am I telling myself this?!? I actually didn't think I had allot I was thinking about, but now that I think about it.. I'm thinking about allot. Why pray tell... can we only go 70mph on this freeway? The van speedometer goes to like 130mph. Can't they make an "enter at your own risk maniac lane"!?! I think I'm going to invent one. And why is it that little kids have to use the bathroom right AFTER we pass the rest areas? and why do they call them "Rest areas"? If I was naming them.. I'd call it "relief areas". Why do the people sitting in the front seat deiced to turn the radio on.. just when I put my ear buds in!?!? Its true, I am capable of listening to two different things at once, but I don't like to show off... 

I'm munching on Burger King fires (The place with the "M" made out of french fries.. you know what place I'm talking about... is stupid.. boycott them) and sipping on a Green Apple Jones soda. The little saying on the bottle cap is "wear a shirt inside out". sweet... I gotta try that.. on purpose. People will be like "why are you wearing your shirt inside out" and I'll be like "dude... where have you been? its in now.". yeah. 

I feel sorry for you poor saps who get headaches if you don't get your coffee. I can drink decaf out of pure love of the flavor.... and be happy. Its great. I just thought of that because... I actually don't know why. It just came to me. 

I was just about to take another sip of my Jones.. but then Jim was like "wait wait wait wait".... and I was like thinking "huh?" and then we went over a bridge thing, and you know how there is a bump before and after the bridge on the freeway? .. duh.. of corse I do.. Well anyway.. he was like "ok you can drink it now. I just didn't want you to take a sip on the bridge because I just about chipped my tooth just now on the bump". My brother is awesome. 

We are now driving on "Race Road". coincidence? 

There is a tree off in the distance that looks like a pirate ship... either that or a upsidown rotten dead sick starving tofu eating carnivorous rundover chipmunk...

I have this gut feeling that there are these demented aliens following our car with the soul purpose of steeling my Jones...

Someone just told me to keep my eyes open for 271... and I was like "wait, seconds or minuets".. and they just looked at me like I was nuts. Turns out, they are looking for highway 271.. who would have known right? I think this is enough for the study.. don't you? Well of corse I do...."

Back Feed

Here, I mentioned that it is in fact wrong to kill a dead hippopotamus's baby that is dead... Well, as of right now.. I'm taking that back. Because its almost 2009, and 2009 is "TI" spelled numerically .. and "TI" could stand for "Tolerate Ironicness" And killing a dead hippos dead baby is Ironic right?

Wisdom of Words

Do not trust the man who tells you to eat a fire pepper before singing on stage.. 

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